Is Growth Easily Obtainable?

Can you believe it’s May 2020 already? Time is indeed flying.

In today’s post I wanted to discuss a bit on the subject of growth. To me it’s a topic I’ll always be talking about because it’s something we can never stop doing (by choice you can). When I sit in my quiet space to write and fully reevaluate everything that is going on or I have been through, I think of the word growth every time. How did I grow from my past situation? Am I growing or am I stagnant in my ways? Am I practicing to have a growth mindset? These are just a few questions that comes to mind. Maybe you should ask yourself these questions also.

Is Growth Easily Obtainable?

I’m asking for a friend… No seriously, is growth easily obtainable? In my honest opinion, the answer is yes. The answer is yes, but there are some factors that comes with it. If you want to grow, it won’t happen overnight. Think about it, a plant doesn’t just grow in a day. Sometimes it takes a plant weeks before it sprouts out from beneath the dirt and months even to produce a new leaf. Growth is not something that is to be rushed. It happens overtime and when we take the steps to allow it, “growth” to sprout, it’s a beautiful thing.

3 Things About Growth You Do Not Want To Accept

  1. It happens when you least expect it.
  2. It may cause you to lose a friend or two…or ALL.
  3. It may not make you happy…during the process!

How you can obtain growth is to let it happen gradually. This is probably the only process we can just allow to do its thing in our life. That’s easier said than done because 99% of the time we want to see results FAST. I think that’s a normal human tendancy, however it’s not a good one to practice. Just as it is inevitable to stop the sun from rising and setting each day, it’s the same way it is inevitable for us to control our growth process. Controlling and obtaining, two different words. Don’t confuse them! We cannot control our growth, but we can obtain it.

How Can I Obtain Growth?

Ask yourself the question, “How can I obtain growth?”. That’s the first step in actually growing; when you seek help, knowledge or information. Next is figuring out some ways that will help you reach your goal, aka whatever area you are trying to grow or exceed in. For example, if you are trying to stop lying, you must first think of ways you can do that. How can I stop lying? Maybe I can tell the person what I am feeling in the moment as to why I lie. Or maybe you can figure out the exact reason you would rather lie than just tell the truth. It can be because of fear of losing something or someone, or it is just something you became accustom to. Was that clear? I hope so.

We grow when we accept things for what it is and try to do better. We grow when we understand that everything happens for a reason and sometimes that reason is there to benefit us. We grow when we take the initiative to be better people in general, not just for ourselves but for a wider audience. We grow when we allow God to take control of our lives.

Incorporating a growth mindset sets you apart from everyone else. It shows that you are willing and open to the betterment of your life. People who practice having a growth mindset embraces the challenges that come before them. They learn from their past and also from the criticism of others. They get inspired and jump for joy at the hands of success from others. This is what we must practice today.

So again I ask, is growth easily obtainable? Yes. Take the steps to grow better, glow better and flow better.

The steps are:

  • Seek help or information
  • Have a growth mindset, bring your thinking to a new level of where you want to be
  • Reflect + Understand what you may have done to get to that point
  • Make a plan/solution for exactly how you’re going to get there (wherever you want to be)

Thanks for stopping by! XO MJ.

5 Tips For Becoming A Blogger.

I contemplated a lot with what type of blog posts to put out during this time of ‘self-isolation, social distancing, quarantine & chill, working from home’ time period and what I thought to do was to write posts that will be somewhat helpful and posts that will bring some type of normality to what we all are facing right now. So today’s post I decided to share some helpful tips for people are interested in starting a blog.

I started blogging in April 2016 and I do not regret up to this day. When starting a blog there are things you need to think about before jumping into it.

FIRST, THINK ABOUT YOUR WHY FACTOR

NEXT, DECIDE ON A BLOG NAME/OR TITLE

  • Why do you want to be a blogger? This is a key question to ask yourself. If your number one response is to get “free stuff” then you are starting for the wrong reasons and you may not get very far. As a blogger, it means you have a responsibility to be truthful, vulnerable and relatable to your audience. Becoming a blogger for free items does not show that you fall into any of those three categories. So, think about why you want to be a blogger.
  • Do you have something valuable to offer others? Fashion, beauty, art, writing, etc. (some examples).
  • Do you want a platform to show your talents? Writing, teaching, DIYs, etc. Think long and hard about your reason and then move on to this next step.
  • What am I passionate about that I want to share with others? Cooking, fashion hacks, life tips, etc.
  • Think about the purpose of your blog, whether it’s for a hobby, business or a platform that is your own. This is important.

I thought this was the easiest part before I started, but in actuality guys, it’s the hardest part. It’s important to know what you want your blog title/name to be because you have to purchase your domain name (what people will type in to find you on the web). To make it easy, just think about who you are and what you want others to see when they hear your blog title/name or type in it on the web. That should do the trick! I chose “Keeping Up With MJ” because I wanted people to keep up with me and my adventures as a blogger. I wanted to get out my comfort zone and allow people to see my writing talents (at the time) and now everything else that I’ve added to my blog! 

THEN, DECIDE ON YOUR NICHE

AFTER, CHOOSE A BLOGGING PLATFORM

Keeping this part short and sweet, in my opinion, your niche is what you’re going to be focusing on. There are so many types of blogs out there and it is so important to make sure you don’t get “lost in the sauce” aka overwhelmed and undervalued. Figure out what your focus is. For me, I focus on writing (lifestyle, tips), fashion/style, beauty, and wedding. I evolved and expanded my niche over the years and I’m very much proud of it! You can and will be proud too once you figure out what your niche is!

You have to decide what blogging platform is best for you (and your pockets). When I started blogging, it was just a platform for my writing so I went with the free WordPress blogging platform. I didn’t know much at the time and I was just interested in getting myself out there. As I’m approaching 4 years next month, my thoughts and my content have evolved. I currently have WordPress Premium which allows me to do more, but I am thinking about switching to Squarespace later this year!

Some examples of blog platforms:

  • WordPress.com
  • WordPress.org
  • Blogger
  • Squarespace

LASTLY, CREATE CONTENT YOU LOVE

The most important tip to take away from this blog post, create what you love and keep it 100% YOU. It’s very easy to compare yourself to other bloggers, but remember that your audience love you and your work. The more authentic you are and real is the more they can relate and they will stick around. Add value to what you put out and it will show. When you add value to people’s lives, whether by educating them or entertaining them, they will keep coming back. Take time to plan out your blog posts and use your photos to tell your story (if that works for you).

I hope this post was helpful. In my next post, I will be sharing how you can build your social media presence (Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter etc.). I have some tips and tricks for you so make sure to tune in next time.

Stay updated by subscribing via email to my blog! Thanks for stopping by! XO MJ.

10 Reasons To Step Out Your Comfort Zone + Youtube Channel Launch.

This year I’m stepping out of comfort zones and going for IT. Period.

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Your comfort zone is a leech, sucking you dry and leaving you for dead.

READ TO THE END!

It can get tricky to know when you should step out of your comfort zone, but that is all the reason why you should do it NOW.

Keeping It Real, it is not easy to step out of our comfort zones. The phrase itself has “comfort” in it and that is something we human beings adore! We love to have it our way,  the way we want it, when we want it without having to give too much energy. Sounds a bit lazy right? Reread that. I bet you will agree.

Let’s dig a bit deeper though, in terms of our life dreams, goals and aspirations we are sometimes forced to make the changes and put in the work in order to get where we need to be (unless you’re privileged and don’t have to work for anything). That requires us to do things outside of the box so we can 1.) Stand out and 2.) Prove that we are worth it, knowledgeable, hardworking and deserving of(you fill in that blank).

In my opinion, stepping out of your comfort zone can be a hit or miss, either one you have to give it up for yourself because you went for it! You tried. You put yourself out there. You did something that was uncomfortable. You conquered a fear. You decided to consciously make the decision to not settle and that is enough reason for you to clap it up for yourself.

10 Reasons To Step Out Your Comfort Zone This Year

  1. No one is really going to point at you and laugh if you fail.
  2. People are rooting for you.
  3. You will feel so much more relief and content knowing you went for it and it wasn’t that bad vs not doing anything at all.
  4. People are scared to do what you are doing & they admire you even if they do not say it.
  5. Just like forgiving someone is healing for yourself, so is stepping out of your comfort zone. It’s an anxiety breaker!
  6. You will become stronger each time and 10x more ready for whatever may come in your way.
  7. You will grow to understand that failure is PART OF THE PROCESS TO GREATNESS.
  8. Stepping out of the box will only benefit you and your creativity.
  9. You get more exposure to things and people would be able to see what you’ve been holding in.
  10. The chains of stagnancy are broken.

I STARTED A YOUTUBE CHANNEL

My youtube channel is about going to cover the majority of the same things my blog covers, with a different spin on it! I want to expand and reach a new audience with my channel while doing things I enjoy doing. I love creating content for lifestyle, fashion, beauty- glossier, and I’ll be adding bits and pieces of my life! I’ll really appreciate it if you guys can go subscribe to my channel & watch my video! SUBSCRIBE HERE!  You won’t regret it. I promise.

Thanks for stopping by! XO MJ.

The Wedding Guest List: The Art Of Choosing.

Hello everyone. It’s Tuesday, which means its #weddingserieswithMJ time! If you been following me on Instagram, you know that I started this wedding series about a month ago where I share some tips, advice, and some realness to my future brides and also to anyone interested in knowing my thoughts/feelings. Today is no different. I usually post to Instagram, but I felt like this post would be a little more lengthy and it’s worthy of a blog post! Keep up with me on Instagram, by following me HERE.

Now that that’s in order, let’s get into the good stuff.

Wedding Guest List

This is possibly the worst part of wedding planning, in my opinion. It’s literally bittersweet. This is the day you would have to put on your big girl and big boy underwear and make some tough decisions. Honestly, it took me and husbae A LONG TIME to get our list figured out. It was so hard. It wasn’t that hard. No, it was hard. 

Before you make the tough decisions of adding and subtracting names, you have to first have these things covered:

  • Your wedding budget
  • A specific # of people you want there
  • Whether you want a small, intimate wedding or a big one
  • Family and close friends only or friends from near or far (associate even)
  • People you’ve known for a super long time but lost contact
  • All your relatives or just the ones that have been close to you

Once you have these covered, you’ll be on your way to making your guest list official. The thing that can be stressful is wanting to invite more people than your budget can afford. Do not get caught up in that endless number game, adding past your initial number! It is not worth it, trust me. Save your coins, honey. 

Set your number and do not go past it. Period!

It is so easy to keep tricking yourself into believing that you NEED to add this person or that person, but if you are surpassing your number then that means you may have to reevaluate if that person would just not be added or you may have to subtract another name and add theirs instead. That is the reality of it. 

Do not feel guilty

It is easy to feel guilty. Guilty for not inviting someone, guilty for having to take someone’s name off the list, guilty for forgetting to add someone to the list, or guilty for just not wanting someone there that your spouse wanted there. Take it easy on yourself. This is not the end of the world. 

Of course, we wanted to invite ALL of our friends/associates/long-distance peeps, but we could not. It’s nice to have great social media friends, but those friends are not all eligible for a wedding guest list, especially if the only time they actually talk to you is when they comment under your photo. Be REAL people! That is not how life works and you (you as in the ones who would not get the invite to that wedding) should not feel upset or be mad at the bride/groom. It is not until you endure planning a wedding would you truly understand why. And please remember that it is not always about “who you knew the longest”, it’s actually about who have been constant + consistent with you until this very day. That goes for NEW + OLD. Brides tend to feel obligated to invite people based of of long time periods of knowing them, trust me when I say that could be lit on fire and blown up in an instant. I can attest to that fact. I speak on this a little more in my previous post HERE.

Money does not grow on trees. People are not rich out here.

I mean, unless you are and you could invite as many people as you want with no worries!

Do not be afraid to cut someone off the list if they are not going to bring you the positive energy that you need on your wedding day. Remember it is YOUR DAY!

One piece of advice I remember getting A LOT was to also invite people with real-life jobs. Yes, it’s cool to want your friends there, but are your friends really interested in giving you a great wedding gift or they just want to turn up with you? Be REAL. Be SMART. I’m not saying that they would not have your best interest at heart, but there are some older folks who want to help you start your life off the best way you can and that blessing is a blessing in itself! Don’t disregard them. Don’t keep them off your list because they’re “old”. They are needed for their wisdom and they deserve a seat at the table for all they’ve done over the years. All the love they have shown.

Be wise. The old show us their wisdom in many ways.

Last thing: Do not invite someone you have to think hard to remember. If the names do not come flowing as you’re making it, then they were not supposed to be on the list. The names should flow easily as you and your husbae to be is making it!

Okay, I think I covered it all tonight for the wedding guest list. I hope this was helpful to someone out there!

Thanks for stopping by! XO MJ.

6 Ways To Fight Writer’s Block.

Writers’ block can be a pain. It can make us writers feel like we are incompetent, lesser, and like we are losing the one thing that should just flow…words. I have been a victim of writer’s block many many times, so I have accumulated some helpful tips to help you push through writer’s block. If you’ve been faced with this problem, this post is for you!

My most favorite place to write is on my bed under my comfy comforter. Sometimes I enjoy having the window open to have some sunlight in or some soft music that will calm my mind and help my thoughts to just easily flow to my fingertips. This is not always 100% successful because distractions occur. 

HERE ARE 6 TIPS TO FIGHT WRITERS BLOCK:

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1. Turn your phone on do not disturb (or completely off).

We know ourselves enough to know that there will always be that one notification that we’ll keep checking and that one text message we have to answer. If you want to get serious brain juice flowing, it’s a must to turn the phone off or set it aside. You owe it to yourself to have a peaceful space to write without anyone bugging you. 

2. Make it something you do on a regular basis.

Practice makes perfect, agree or disagree? We hear this saying so often, but never actually do it. 9 times out of 10, if you actually write every day, it will become easier and writer’s block would not take a toll on your mind. The greatest writers didn’t just wake up and boom they became great. You have to make your writing a priority. Read, gain knowledge, find inspiration outside and just write what you feel. Give yourself a daily time that can encourage yourself to write each day. Incorporating writing prompts can also help.

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3. Get inspired, stay inspired, be the inspiration.

Easy. Read more. 

Train signs or posters. Wall art. Newspapers. Read a thesaurus or dictionary and learn new ways to say things differently. 

Visit museums. Take walks in the park. Sit under the sun. Take coffee shop visits. All these are ways to get inspired and stay inspired daily. Try it.

4. Find more ways to keep your readers/audience interested in your writing.

Are you changing your writing style? Are you still interesting to your audience? Are they even reading your work? These are all questions I have asked myself while having writer’s block and the only way to obtain an answer is to reach out to your readers.

Ask questions.

Engage with polls.

Ask their opinions.

See what they like or are interested in.

Give advice, but also receive it too.

The ball is in your court as the writer, but the court is actually your audience. Don’t get carried away.

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5. Crush your to-do lists first.

You can’t peacefully write knowing that you haven’t completely crossed out everything on your to-do list. It takes focus and dedication to write something worth your readers’ time and yours. So the best thing to do is get it all done before you sit in your quiet place to write. Your creative juices will flow way better after, trust me.

6. Set a specific time for writing.

Take the time to write.

No exceptions.

Let your mind do the talking and your fingers do the writing.

Use a pen + paper. A book. A journal. Leave the computer/laptop alone sometimes.

++I hope this post was helpful. Have a beautiful day. XO MJ.

2020: Be Intentional.

Hey loves! Happy New Year! It’s finally 2020 and I have already had so many blessings poured my way. This year I am claiming the 3 P’s:

Peace, Prosperity & Patience.

As a person who have had highs and lows throughout her life, this year I’m choosing to not let it get in the way of my greatness. It’s okay to fail, but make sure you keep trying. Someone once told me that failure is part of the process and part of the bigger picture. It was hard at first to accept that, but as time has progressed I have implemented into my daily life. This year is the year of being 100% intentional in every aspect of life. Work, school, marriage, friendship, careers, aspirations, goals and dreams. Nothing is too big or too small.

Questions to ask yourself:
How can you be intentional this year?
What can you do differently this year than you did last year?
How can you leave your legacy in this world?
What do you want to accomplish?

Coming to the blog this year…

  • Brand collaborations– I promise to never work with a brand I’m not proud of or love.
  • Quotes, affirmations and scriptures to keep you motivated
  • Wedding content– As a newlywed I still have a lot to share with upcoming brides and I also have some photos and video content for you guys to see!
  • More video content!
  • How to’s and style tips
  • Beauty content– As you all know I’m a glossier rep, so more recommendations, videos, and my favorite products + other makeup brands.
  • Journaling
  • Start of a dream of mine, a book!

I hope you are subscribed to my blog to keep up with all the things I have in store for you this year! Thanks so much for stopping by! XO MJ.

 

3 Things You Should Have In Your Closet.

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All Photos By Duran Andrae

 

Hey guys! As we wrap up 2019 and prepare to bask in all 2020’s blessings, remember that the end of year sale is right around the corner! Hahaha. I know..you weren’t expecting that, but it’s true. Make sure you buy some pieces that will take in you into 2020 looking and feeling your best. Who said shopping had to be full-priced all the time?

Today’s post is for my fashionistas. You look shopping, but you get overwhelmed because you’re not always sure what to buy and how to put outfits together. I HEAR YOU. I SEE YOU. I AM HERE TO HELP!

3 Things You Should Have In Your Closet
  1. Oversized Blazer
  2. Belt Bag
  3. Dad Sneakers or Booties

These items are necessary (and extra perks if you’re married, I’ll elaborate soon) and will always allow you to switch up your looks. Whether you’re a blogger, stylist, or fashionista who likes to dress up!

Oversized Blazer- It can take your look from zero to SHERO! Pair itwith a tank, tee, or your favorite crew neck sweater and you'll beset. For me, I like to try new outfit looks and experiment, so Ipaired my oversized blazer with a tulle skirt, then with a tee, jeans & booties! For my wives (or girlfriends), we get extra cool pointsbecause we can steal our husband's suit jackets/blazers and use that!Perfect oversized-trendy look we love! That's my secret.

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Belt Bag– I used to hate belt bags until I tried it. Truth be told, they’re actually super convenient and it levels up your look! I have probably 3 or 4 belt bags now (and counting)! As I paired it here in this outfit, you can too! I believe if you go in my other style postsyou might see some belt bags that I have!

Dad Sneakers or Booties- Ladies, a must-have in your closet! I know some people are not feeling the "dad sneakers" look and some are, that's totally fine. We all have different taste for a reason! For me, my "dad sneakers" are my FILA sneakers that I bought from Urban Outfitters. I have two pairs and when I say they are comfy, they are comfy AF! Get you a pair! As for booties, you should have at least two pairs in your closet. That's mandatory sis. Pair your booties with a dress, jeans, skirt or even sweats (my next experimental look)!  
Here's a look at how to style dad sneakers!

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I hope this was helpful! Details on this look below:

Booties- Public Desire

Belt Bag & T-Shirt- ZARA

Blazer- Husbae's Closet

Tulle Skirt- ASOS

Dad Sneakers- Urban Outfitters
Enjoy this flipbook inspired by my blogger friend @JelissaBrooks!

Thanks for stopping by! Be sure to SUBSCRIBE TO MY BLOG! xoxo MJ.

 

Queen And Slim.

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I will keep embracing, keep holding, keep loving, and keep rooting for black love. Our stories deserve to be broadcasted, cherished and loved.

Last night I saw the film Queen And Slim. I had to write a blog post.

This movie taught me a few lessons, as a matter of fact, it reiterated what it means to be a black human being in a corrupt society.

This is so unlike me, writing about films I’ve watched, but this one is necessary.

Queen and slim is an important film. It’s kind of like a superhero movie, where you’re rooting for your favorite characters to win in the end like a fairytale, but then they don’t and you’re livid. This film was meant to make you livid. It was meant to open your eyes to what’s really going on in this world. It wasn’t meant to have a happy ever after, no matter how hard we were praying for one because like Issa said, we’re rooting for everybody black, and I definitely was. Call it bias if you want.

Lena Waithe (the genius behind this film) said, “My job is to make art that makes you think, and makes you question things. And I hope that’s what we did.” –Yep, she definitely nailed it with this one!

Love, anger, sacrifice, new experiences, realness, pain, and death. How could a movie hit it on the nail so perfectly that it felt like real life? From the start to the end I was in tune and felt like it could be me and my husband this could have happened to. One event after another felt like a page ripped from a book of any black person living in the US. When people say black lives matter, don’t get offended. When someone takes the time to appreciate and celebrate a black life, don’t feel like your life is any less. When you see a black couple being celebrated, broadcasted, and well appreciated, don’t ignore it. That’s a rare sight in a blind world.

This film depicted what it feels like to let a woman lead, while the man follows. The importance of that in itself showed that the power dynamic was so adequate and flowed so smoothly. No question, no doubt, just plain ole “GWTF” (Going with the flow).

Another important lesson I got from this movie was the question, ‘when you die, what will be your legacy? How will people remember you?’. Think about it. This should be steady on our minds, our thoughts and shown throughout our lives. 

The end of the film…the death of Queen and Slim. At that moment, when they got out of the car and was heading to the helicopter I felt liberated. I was rooting for them the whole movie and finally, they were getting the fairytale ending. If I’m being completely honest, I felt it in my gut that it was “too good to be true”. I knew this film had a purpose, and that purpose was not going to just end so smoothly where they got away scot-free. Then Slim is being all romantic (because he knows it’s about to go down) promising that he would’ve kissed her and Queen asking if she could be his legacy…the white cop lets the bullet loose on her. Queen drops. Slim is left devastated. I am happy that he didn’t just leave her body on the floor. He cared and saw her worth all the way through to his death.

I cried. 

I expected them to die together, not Queen being shot first. That was the jaw-dropping part of the movie for me. I did not expect that the black man would be the one who set them up. Total plot twist. Another plot twist was the black boy shooting the black cop in the face. Sadly he didn’t know that shooting that black man in no way made him iconic, immortal or memorable (in a good way).

Initial feelings–disgust, betrayal, anger. 

Queen and slim, they are every black boy, girl, man, and woman. What would you do in that situation? Would you run or would you live out your last few days (or hours) like actually live…do things you’ve never done while trying to survive.

This is one of the greatest love stories of all time. What’s your legacy?

— Photo of Queen & Slim by @PhotoDre

Confessions of a Newlywed.

Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog and a new post about all things wedding, post-wedding, etc. It’s been 3 months since my wedding!! Time flew by. As you can already tell from the title, this post will be about some untold confessions of what it’s like to be a newlywed. This should be super fun, but before I jump into the good stuff, I’ll be sharing one tip today for my soon-to-be brides!

You’re about to be a bride? Read this part.

Okay, I get it you’re excited, nervous, pumped, anxious, and you have ALL THE FEELS. Well, you should! I’ve put together some tips for you so that you’ll have the absolute best wedding day. However, they won’t be in this post. Only ONE TIP I’ll share with you. Sidebar: The next wedding post will be the rest!

Tip 1: Choose your bridal gang wisely. 

Sneak Peek of my QUEENS: Shenelle, Akilah, Akesia, Mercy, Julia H. & Julia M. + my flowergirls/boys Kailin, McKenzie-Rae, Matthias & Jai (ring-bearer).E_0541Facetune_23-12-2019-20-44-21 2.jpgFacetune_23-12-2019-19-51-43Be hella choosy with your close company! The ladies you choose are a representation of you. They could be your closest friends or family, or in some cases someone who has left a huge impact on your life. For me, I wanted to have genuine people who know me, love me, supported me, and been there for me on my good and bad days. It doesn’t matter the number you choose, but just make sure you’re not choosing people just to be “space fillers” or just because they will make your pictures look great. Make sure they are your real friends, a real bond, because it’s pretty embarrassing choosing someone, announcing it, then letting that person go before the wedding day comes. When I tell you people will notice, THEY NOTICE because they’re nosy. More importantly, you want your day to be perfect so choose people you know will do any and everything to make sure that happens for you.

** More tips coming in the next wedding post! Stay tuned.

Confessions of a Newly WED. (This should be pretty interesting…) Here’s some lines straight from the chest.

The first confession is that… these aren’t confessions. These are ‘my truths’.

As a newlywed, we believe (wives I’m speaking for us all), that we are our husbands everything and they should treat us as such. —boldfaced? YES.

Don’t follow my husbae unless I give you permission. *CHUCKLES, but very serious*

To my husbae, get use to that hot water when you shower with me, I ain’t changing it!

At work, I flash my ring (on purpose) when people look at me like I’m a child because of my babyface *rolls eyes*. I’m grown ma’am/sir.

I thought my ring would stop the thirsty dudes from attacking, but they are ruthless. They still trying. Lord send help!

Yes, we wives get extra wild, extra freaky, extra everything when we get that ring on our finger. We don’t care about no one’s opinions. Period. (I speak for me)

When husbae and I aren’t talking, at night I cuddle with him anyways on purpose…and he cuddles back *evil laugh*.

My husbae is better at the silent treatment than me, but I’ll soon LEVEL UP!

I miss coming home and just going to my bed and nap. Now I find myself always doing something around the house.

I thought my momma was my biggest fan when I used to cook, but my husbae actually is. (He gets major cool points + extras *wink wink*)

ABOUT 10,000 people asked me “How’s married life?” so far & it’s totally cool with me (sarcastic voice haha). TBH (To be honest), if it was terrible and I said it was terrible, what would be their response I wonder? Hahaha.

Married life is for learning, loving, adjusting, assembling, cooperating and head-bumping. 

I want to do everything with my husbae and I have no shame in that. 

I now feel like I’m my husbae’s bodyguard FOR LIFE. You come at him, you come at me. Period Pooh.

I have experienced being home two nights without my husbae and I am terrified. He better not let it happen again. (Check me again next year…I’ll probably have a different answer haha)

The art of communication is important. Still learning and unlearning daily.

“Don’t go to bed angry”…still learning that one. I haven’t mastered it yet.

I miss being a girlfriend. Fewer responsibilities *chuckles*. Shh Don’t tell my husbae.

Lastly, we aren’t perfect, but we’re imperfectly perfect together.

–Wives, what’s your “confession”? Leave it in the comments!

Here’s a few memes that also sums up my life as a newlywed. Prepare to die.

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Check out my other wedding posts & don’t forget to subscribe to my blog to keep up with all the new posts coming!

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY! XO, MJ.

20 Thoughts For 2020.

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DSC08872DSC08836IMG_2589.JPGDSC08843DSC08894.JPGGuys, guess what? 2020 is right around the corner. I mean, not literally but it’s a few weeks away, so I decided to share 20 thoughts for 2020 with you to get you ready for what’s ahead!

**Disclaimer: This post is a bit lengthy, but it is worth the read + dope photos ahead!

20 Thoughts For 2020
  • Keeping it real 2020 is a bit scary for me. Not because I’m thinking negatively or anything, but it’s scary because I am super anxious about what’s coming! Honestly, God has been blessing me thoroughly and keeping it all the way real…I am so happy right now. I finally feel like good things really came to me. I’ve always kept the faith and tried to walk the walk, but sometimes it got hard and I did lose faith for a second. Thankfully I found my way back to God and my faith grew and grew to where it is now. SO, my first thought and advice are this: Never lose your faith. Why? Because God always has a plan for our lives, even when we cannot fully see it.
  • Don’t stand in the way of your own blessings. Cliché as that may sound, it’s an actual fact. Many times we cause ourselves to lose out, all because we are afraid to give in. When I say “give in”, I’m referring to putting our all into something (whatever we may want or desire). Leave that mess in 2019. Actually leave that mess where it is now, start fresh today! Put in the work for your dreams now and stop putting it on the back burner. I’m speaking to myself in this one also!
  • Push yourself.
  • Stop complaining.
  • Stop comparing yourself. The grass is NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE. Please ladies and gentlemen, this comparing your life, goals, accomplishments to other people has to end now. It will only lead you down a wormhole of darkness, bitterness, envy, and sadness. No one ever felt better from comparing themselves to anyone! Instead, be happy for that person or even ask them for help or assistance if possible. Elevate them and they will elevate/embrace YOU in return. Trust me, it’s God’s way and God’s way always wins.
  • Everything is FIGURE-OUT-ABLE.
  • Therapy is NOT the enemy. I’ve actually been thinking about going to therapy. I haven’t told anyone (other than my mom because she’s thinking of going too), but it may allow me to speak about things from my childhood that I may not have let go of. Honestly, not sure of it but I don’t think people should feel embarrassed for doing it. It’s a form of release and relief. With that being said, if you been thinking about it or have done it, let me know your thoughts in the comments!
  • Have that terrifying conversation you been dodging. I’m sorry, but dodging a serious, ‘need to be had’ convo ain’t the answer love. Put your big boy/or big girl underwear on and GET IT DONE.
  • Let go of loose ends. Period.
  • Stop feeling guilty for choosing YOU. Again… STOP FEELING GUILTY FOR CHOOSING YOU.
  • Dress to impress. This is an important thought I’m sharing because sometimes your outward appearance does matter. Do not believe the lies you been fed. Dress the part first, then make it your own!
  • Let God fight the battles for you. Some people are natural-born fighters (like me…shameless), but God tells us over and over that he wants to fight our battles for us. We are so stubborn sometimes, we neglect that voice in our heads that tells us to relax. Like an energizer bunny, we are ready to go always, but time to let that part of us go. It’s actually holding you back from growing into what God wants you to be. WOW, that one hit home for me!

For my ladies…

  • You are capable of love.
  • Stop pushing that guy who likes you away. This one speaks to a lot of you. You’re scared of being hurt or commitment issues or trust issues. Leave that in 2019. Give him a chance. Honestly, some guys suck I get it, but there are a faithful few who are actually genuine and true to their tongue! If you like him, give him a chance.
  • Stop giving it all away. You don’t have to give it up every time you ‘like’ a guy or because he’s fine! Guys may not say it out loud, but a little mystery, self-respect and ‘hard to get’ action does the trick. Actually, scratch that! Respect yourself enough to not give in on your feelings or wants, but act with your brain. When you love yourself, like God loves you…you move differently when it comes to relationships. You got to love and understand yourself completely before letting that person in (literally and figuratively). Just keeping it REAL!

For my gentlemen…

  • Be gentle! I mean, it’s in your title “GENTLE-man”.
  • You can have cake and eat it too. What I mean is this… you can be a good, respectful guy and have the same type of woman on your arm. SINGULAR…woman. The player mentality, leave that in 2019.
  • Be real with yourself.
  • You can be great too in this world that tells you you cannot. Black men graduate. Black men run businesses. Black men go to church. Black men can smile, laugh, do good, be an example, be a father. The list will forever go on.

Last thought.

  • Be good to yourself. This goes out to everyone. The old and young. The ‘sacrificers’ of the family, the go-getters, entrepreneurs, bloggers, stylists…pause and be good to yourself. Treat yourself more. Self-care is important for both men and women. Don’t let 2020 catch you doing the same thing you did all year. DO BETTER!

Self-Reflect + Redirect.

Happy New Month my loves! December has always been one of my favorite months for 3 reasons: my dad’s birthday month, the month before my birthday, and the month of reflection on all I’ve accomplished, lost, gained and so much more. What does December mean to you?

This post is a bit different. I want you to actually read these questions and think about them. You don’t have to answer in the comments, but I do want you to answer them for yourself, maybe in a journal or in your mind. You can save this template, pin it to Pinterest or share it on your social accounts so others can also complete it. I’ve always wanted to create something like this because I know it can be so helpful. Sometimes we may think we haven’t done anything, but when we take the time to reflect + jot things down, it leaves us feeling way better. Visuals are important. It’s more attention-grabbing, engaging, more flexible than verbal+mental talks, and it lets you see your message more directly. So with that being said my loves, check out my self-reflection template & answer sheet! Hope it’s helpful.

Self-Reflection Questionnaire Template + Answer Sheet

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Self-Reflect + Redirect.

We all know how important self-reflection is right? The benefits are immense. We see what we’ve been lacking and we also get to see our growths. As human beings, the majority of the time we just focus on our lows vs our grows which is not healthy. That’s why I want you to redirect that bad energy elsewhere and throw it in the garbage. Redirect your mind to positive thoughts like what you want to accomplish in the upcoming year or what you can do to make a difference in someone else’s life. Yes, you have accomplishments (as well as losses), but how can you use that and/or even your platform to do better/impact the world. If you do not remember anything from this post, please remember this… When you die, what are you going to be remembered for doing? Is it something memorable? Influential? Impactful? Did you help anyone or were you too caught up in building your own life that you neglected to help build up someone else as well?

Thanks for stopping by! XO MJ.

 

 

Grow before you Glow.

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Pro tip: Surround yourself with people who get you.

The year is almost over and I am going full throttle when it comes to being intentional. I’ve learned a lot about myself this year and I’m pretty sure you have too! My advice to you all is this: “Do not ever be afraid to let go or cut off the “split ends” aka the toxic, negative, bitter people you have lingering around in your life.” Listen, if they are not for you, they’re against you and you should not have to second guess that about a person. It may will can hurt you at first (a bit), but when as change comes along, growth does too.

Growing comes before the GLOW

It took me a while to understand this concept. I usually just want to glow first and grow later on, but that’s not how it works in this thing called life. The older we get, the more decisions we have to make for the betterment of ourselves. A few things this year has taught me are as follows:

  1. Don’t accept nonsense from anyone. It doesn’t matter who it is. Know your worth +add tax and MORE on top of that. That goes for friends, family, and BRANDS because some brands want you to work for free and Free.99 ain’t paying the bills boo.
  2. Learn and grow. Learn from past situations and don’t repeat them. Grow from those situations so you can help someone in the future.
  3. The subtle art of saying NO. The art of not giving a crap and saying no, are my two favorite types of art. Saying no has so many benefits for your mental health and for your sanity. Trust me, I’m a person who use to feel super guilty when saying no to people because I did not want them to feel bad, however, I was the one always feeling bad in the end. Stop burying yourself for other humans. Soon you won’t be able to breathe.
  4. GLOW on. What do I mean by glow on? Well, you’ve already learned from mistakes, grew from them, now you have to glow. Flourish in your blessings. Stop feeling sorry for the people who aren’t. Everyone has their own time to shine. There’s room for all of us. Glow because you worked hard for it. Glow because you deserve it. Glow because you took care of everyone else, now it’s time to take care of you now.

** Outfits Details: Slip Dress- ZARA, Snake Print Top- Boohoo, Snake Skin Bag-ZARA, Booties-Boohoo, Lippie-The Lip Bar

I hope you grow and glow this week. I sure am! Thanks for stopping by! XO MJ.

All Photos By Duran Andrae