5 Ways To Build Up Your Self-Confidence.


Hey Luvs! Thanks for stopping by. I hope you’re enjoying this care-free photo taken on my honeymoon! Today’s post I’ll be focusing on how we can build up our self-confidence. This is super important not only for our mental health, but for our real-life day to day responsibilities and lives.

here’s a story!

When I was younger, I did not always have confidence in myself (school-wise). I know, ME right. Keeping it 100% real, I was really shy and it wasn’t that I didn’t believe in myself but I didn’t always believe in myself or think it was really me who could accomplish great things. I second-guessed myself a lot and whenever I got things correct, somewhere in the back of my mind I questioned it. Don’t get me wrong I was a very smart girl, graduated salutatorian of my 8th & 12th grade classes, but being the youngest child, many (the older siblings) think it’s the best thing in life. They see you getting all the “perks”: being spoiled by both parents, leniency, and my favorite an “easy life” because everything is handed to you. LIESWRONG. ASSUMPTIONS. Life hits us hard just like every other person. We are faced with the expectancy to live up to the oldest siblings or to even surpass that and that pressure can get to a person hard. I say all this to zero in on the fact that a person’s self-confidence can be dependent on so many factors and it’s super important that we get a hold on the specific tools to building up our confidence levels before it’s too late.

Factors (in my opinion) that causes a person to have low self-confidence. Some I’ve experienced and some I have observed:

—Comparison to someone else. (experienced in the past)

—Not feeling like they are enough or good enough. (experienced in the past)

—Being spoken down to or fed negativity.

—Focus of importance put on the outer appearance vs the inner.

—Lack of a good role model in the home/or growing up.

The importance of building up your self-confidence has a lot with you making a conscious decision that you want to make a change in your life or see things work differently. I know some of you are like, I’m good I don’t need these 5 tips, but trust me it never hurts to improve yourself.

  1. Recognize The ProblemIn order for change to occur you have to know what’s causing you to feel the emotion, you’re feeling. Why are you sad? depressed? hateful to yourself? jealous of others? angry? Try to understand the answers to those questions and if help is needed, get some from someone you trust.
  2. Make A List Of Pros And ConsThis one gets real personal. It involves getting vulnerable with yourself. Make a list of pros and cons about yourself, whether it’s what you’re good at, what you’ve accomplished, or what you like about yourself. I guarantee you the pros will outweigh the cons!
  3. Talk To Yourself. People will say this one is crazy, however, it is helpful. In situations where you may falter or that one negative voice pops in your mind, crush it with your positivity of who you are and what you can do. This is helpful especially when you’re approaching job interviews or even when you have an important speech/or public speaking venture you have to follow through on. It has helped me countless times before.
  4. Forget Your Failures. Failing is part of life. Everyone has failed at something, even the person you look up to the most! Instead of lingering and focusing on what you have failed at doing, learn from your mistakes and keep on trying. It is not the end for you. This is one of the leading reasons people are giving up on life, however, it should be one of the main reasons we keep trying to better our lives.
  5. Use Affirmations/ Affirm Yourself. (my favorite) This may seem light, but it’s a very heavy load! Writing down and even repeating affirmations can boost your confidence sky-high. I have developed this habit lately and it not only makes me confident but it gives me that positive outlet each day. Tip: Make a folder in your notes and write down some affirmations every morning. This has been my ritual and whenever I’m having a bad day, I look back at it. Try it!

I hope this post was helpful and encourages you to build on your self-confidence if needed. Share this post with a friend or loved one who needs it. They’ll thank you later!

Don’t forget to subscribe to keep up with my new posts! Thanks for stopping by! xoxo MJ.


  • These are great tips. We are taught that failure is bad so we fear it so much while if we accept we can fail and get back up in case we do, we can move on so much more easily! I also agree that you need to find the source of the issue as most of the time people focus on the symptoms instead of the cause

  • Such a refreshing post MJ!! I to you up with low self-esteem yet I was the smartest girl in my class. I think it came from being talked down to when I was a child and I carried that into my high school years and part of my early to mid twenties. it took me to literally really learn how to love myself, flaws and all. You’re not alone, I too like to talk to myself. it’s like, you are with yourself all day everyday so you might as well be in good company with yourself 👏🏾😁 great read sis!!

    Natonya | https://justnatonya.wordpress.com

  • Some really good tips here! I agree with the need to recognise the problem – you have to get to the root cause to understand where the behaviour is coming from and address it from there. This was such a positive & encouraging post, thanks for sharing x

  • I love this post! I’ve struggled with low self-esteem my entire life and still do despite how great people tell me I am. I find affirmations help me the most! Changing negative thoughts into positive ones are a must. Thanks for writing this

  • This are great tips! I really liked your point on moving on from failure, it is so important that we forgive ourselves so that we can grow further. I recently started a blog called searchingforconfidence.wordoress.com and it would mean so much if you had a read! All the best

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